How Long is Too Long...

Update: I talked to my other neighbor's and they said their dog died in the early winter of 2007. That means Harley arrived as a puppy during the summer of 2007...

I've been trying to figure out how old the Annoying One is, because this will tell me how long I've been forced to listen to his barking and just when I began to slide toward the edge of noise trauma darkness.

Harley was just a wee pup of about 2-3 months when they first brought home the bundle of joy...and he was already indulging in psycho barking although he was much cuter then...visually that is; make no mistakes here - the horrendous sound that comes out of that Schnoodle was never even close to being cute, even back then. I know my neighbors well enough to know they have no dog training skills...and I know that they have no clue that they have no clue...and I knew immediately that I was in BIG trouble and began trying to calculate how long Harley would live...and if I could survive that long.

I know they didn't have him when my very first cat died on November 2, 2005, they didn't have him when I got my shelter cat in December of 2005, and I know they didn't have Harley when my other neighbor's dog died, but I'm having difficulty remembering if she died in 2006 or 2007. I just remember it was a cold and misty day, so it was either late winter/early spring or late fall/early winter. She had been tethered in their yard for about 6 years...a very sad affair and another story for another blog...and I remember my relief at her death was short lived because next thing I knew my other lovely neighbors came home from the beach with Harley. Yea. That was in the Summer of either '06 or '07.

So maybe it hasn't been 4 years that I've been being barked at. Maybe it's only been 3ish. What also makes it difficult to remember, even though the Annoyance started right in immediately, on day one, with his annoying ruckus, was that in the beginning Harley was inside quite often and so I was not always assaulted like I was later on and am now, although, believe me, if he was outside we all knew about it.

So, despite what one of Harley's humans told me when I asked him last fall how old Harley was (he said about 6 but I knew that was not true...let's refer back to Dr. Mixon's noise trauma chart about the thinking process), Harley is getting close to either 3 or 4 years old.

Either way, this barking business has been going on too long. My advice, for what it's worth in my completely batty, nervous wreck, anxiety ridden state, to anyone who has just begun to have a barking neighbor - don't wait, nip it in the bud, don't wait thinking the humans will quiet the dog because they won't, don't keep quiet so as to not ruin the neighborly relationship because if your neighbors allow their dog to disrupt your life the neighborly relationship is non existant anyway, and the longer you wait the more stressed out you'll get, and you'll become as wacked out and miserable as Yours Truly.

I Love the Rainy Days...

Today was an excellent day - cold & rainy! Why??? you say. Because on days like this Harley is not out their psycho barking. In fact, if he was always as quiet as he is on cold, rainy days, I could live with it and probably not be as deranged and batty as I am. Ok, ok, that's debatable but I'd be willing to bet on it.

I used to think that his people let him come inside on rainy days, but no such luck for the irritant. I heard a few feeble attempts at barking after I came home around noon (and by the way he did not yap once when I left this morning which is a rare treat) and later looked out of an upstairs window to see him wandering around his yard, soaking wet. According to Google the high today was 55 and the low will be 34. My cat stayed inside today, and when it's wet and this cold I even make my outside cat come in, but poor Harley is all wet and out in the cold. As much as I despise Harley's barking, I despise his people more for being so negligent and  insensitive to his requirements and comfort. After all, it is their own fault that Harley and his buddy, the Quiet One (actually her name is Cherokee...but she doesn't like that name...hell I don't think either of them know their names anyway), lack good house manners, and poor Harley is the type of dog that really needs to be with his people rather than in exile.

This is also the first day for a while that I haven't been walking around outside with my mobile phone in one hand to make these repulsive videos of Harley barking while trying to do something else at the same time. I have a nice camera that makes great videos, much better than the cell phone, but having that ball and chain around my neck while trying to do other things would be rediculous so I just keep making really lousy videos of Harley's barking with my cell phone. However, it is the sound I'm after and that come through loud and clear and spot on.

As a special treat for anyone visting Barking Mad, I've now made an accompanying blog called Barking Mad Videos (I know, I know, not very original but hey, remember the signs and symptoms chart about the reduced brain function). The star, of course, is my most despised and biggest irritant (second only to his humans), and you can click Harley's photo at the right to see these videos. I know, you can hardly wait. Yea, you say.

Another Barking Mad Video

I seem to spend any time outside doing whatever I'm doing with one hand and my cell phone in the other hand making videos of the yapper. This doesn't make for a very pleasing visual, but the sound is loud an clear. Here's another one I made a few days ago. I'm going out behind the garage to feed a semi-feral cat that I take care of (yes, he's neutered and vaccinated). This cat always hides in the brush on the neighboring vacant lot behind Harley's yard, and Harley can't seem him so he is not barking at the cat, he's barking at Yours Truly as usual. The barking gets more frantic toward the end, and that is the type of barking I endured most of last year when I stepped outside.



It never fails. As soon as the idiot hears me he comes charging to the fence, barking. Sometimes its like a bark a second, sometimes more or less, but it's always bark bark bark rahrahrahrah...

Harley's bark seems to be of a particularly annoying nature. There's something about the sound of his personal bark that is a serious, almost violent, assault on the audio nerves. It's sharp, cuts through the atmosphere like a knife, and echoes across my yard, across the parking lot and field behind my other neighbors' yard, bounces off the brick church on the corner, and proceeds to travel back and forth like this. But I'm sure I'd be equally batty if the tone and octave of his bark was of another nature...say a deep woof woof...since it's just so psychotic and neurotic and frequent.

Sadly, I keep hoping Harley will bark himself to death. I'll tell ya, if I screamed and yelled to the extent that Harley barks I'd surely drop dead.

Bad for Business...

I was up really late last night, into the wee A.M., just surfing about barking dogs (why??? you say...I know, I'm wondering why, too) and came a cross a large number of businesses named Barking Dog this or that. Now why in the hell would you want to name your business after something that most (reasonable) people want to avoid because it is so damn annoying, irritating, despicable, damaging to one's health and well-being, lowers property value, makes your friends not want to come over...? I just do not get it, and especially after experiencing Harley I will never step foot in, in fact I'll cross the street to avoid even just walking in front of, one of these so named estabishments. Can you believe this crap? I don't know. Maybe it's just me. PTSD or something. Click on Harley's photo at the right and you'll see why I hate...that's right people...hate...barking dogs.

Barking Dog...WTF??? I'm not going in there!!! I don't give a shit if they have the best food in town or not.

Obviously these folks have never lived next door to a barking dog is all I can say. Or maybe they are the people who own the mind shattering nuisances.

Why not something friendly and inviting like Laughing Dog, Smiling Dog, Running Dog, Flying Dog, Sitting Dog, Dancing Dog??? There are a zillion good dogs out there, but they had to create another Barking fucking Dog... Hmmmm....sounds like my neighbors.

3 Barking Mad Videos

This first one is a lousy video made with my mobile phone about a month ago, but the sound is loud, clear and exactly what I hear every time I step out of my back door. I have not enhanced the sound. This is really what it's like. During the making of this video Harley could not see me or my cat. My neighbor often blames my cat, but the cat is usually out of Harley's sight, or inside.

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I made this second video, below, while inside my house when the back door was open. Needless to say, I have not had my doors or windows open very often or for very long the last few years. I opened the back door this morning for some fresh air and because it wasn't so cold, and apparently the dog heard my cats playing by the open door and started barking. One cat was wearing her collar (with bell & tags) because I had taken her for a walk on her harness and leash in the yard. We were't out very long and had to come back in because the idiot was barking so much. Even my cats can't enjoy thier yard.

I'm standing in the kitchen, then walk to the back door, and at the end of the video the barking stops so someone must have come out of the house. We are restoring an old, old house and have not got to the kitchen, back room and out buildings yet, so please excuse the ghetto look. Actually, even if the whole place looked like a palace with royal gardens it would still feel like a ghetto with that damn barking going on. The rest of the house is really nice, totally restored from floor to ceiling on both levels, new wood floors, new staircase...we put a lot of work and money into it, and we plan on finishing this back part of the house in the near future, then starting on the out buildings. That was before this barking got so bad; at this point in time I'd really rather just leave it all and move. Unfortunately I doubt anyone would want to buy it now...

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The next video was made yesterday outdoors but this  is nothing like what I endured during the spring, summer & fall last year; he doesn't bark so much when I come near the fence. Last year was mind boggling. It was excruciating. You can hear how annoying and painful the sound of his bark is - it's so loud and piercing that it echoes. I had to listen to this every second I was outside in 2009. It hurt to the soul.

Notice the Quiet One off to the left. Oddly enough, when the Annoying One is barking the Quiet One will often jump on him...almost as if she's telling him to shut the fuck up.

In Retrospect...

First of all, I finally got a picture of Harley, the annoying yapper. Not a great shot, but here he is...

I also made a short video today of the despicable irritant, but unfortunately it doesn't capture him in all his hysterical glory because I was too close to the fence. You see, when I approach the fence the irritating bugger is so happy that he doesn't bark (as much) as he does if I'm ignoring him, or when he sees my cat, or hears the dogs behind me bark, or just breaks into his psycho routine when the wind blows. However, I am loathe to run outside to reward him with my presence every time he's having a barking conniption...but now I have new motivation which will ultimately take place in a courtroom!

In retrospect, I wish I would have carted my camera outside last spring, summer, fall during those barking hysterics. He has lost some steam lately, not that I'm complaining but I am still complaining, and hopefully it's not just because of the weather, but nothing that I'm capturing now is as spectacular as it was when the weather was warmer. Hopefully he'll continue this trend right on into complete silence, but I'll be prepared in case that is not the case.

I'm an avid photographer...not that I'm great at it, but I make pictures off all kinds of weird stuff and some really cool stuff, and lots of cats...but I was loathe (that word comes up a lot these days when I'm talkin' about Harley and his humans) to have pictures of this rediculous looking and seriously loud dog on my SD card and my laptop. But had I been thinking clearly enough to make some videos with sound of Harley in action, I could have used it against my neighbors. In my defense, however, according to Craig Mixon's The Symptoms & Side Effects of Force-Feeding Noise Into the Domestic Environment poster the inability to think clearly is one of the side effects from being forced to listen to chronic barking.

This poster really freaked me out: Harley was actually killing me! Last year was the topper...I began feeling like I really had some sort of serious illness, a fatal disease...and this was beside the feeling that my life was ruined. I was already seriously annoyed (and in retrospect I see now that I was already impaired) because Harley had been barking for a few years when he was in his yard, and then last spring my neighbor sprung the news on me: they were putting him out for good, all the time, day and night...till the end of his life. Oh, my god. I almost had a conniption of my own, I'm surprised I didn't start barking, and it took all my strength not to go postal on my neighbor. In retropsect again, maybe I should have flipped out right then and there. .

Anyway, late last year I came across Craig's poster. I was going to list some symptoms here but the list would be too long and tedious, and I'm not up for that, because at a glance I found I had developed a lot of symptoms in the Section 1 - the immediate effects, and way too many symptoms in Section 2, which occur over time. Fortunately, I have not experienced anything in Section 3 but sometimes I feel close. I mean,were talking like over half of this poster describes me.

I wonder if I could charge my neighbors with murdering me after the fact...

I'll have to look into that, but in the meantime I'll try to get this video of Harley on YouTube so I can share my joy! Yea!

Plan of Action

The following is a post written today by Dave Black, on the Barking Dogs Yahoo Group under the original post entitled "Things That Work and Don't Work." Under this original posting there is a continuing debate over what works and doesn't work to shut the damn dog(s) up (duh), and whether one should begin by approaching the dog's human or not.

Dave says,

"Hello, My personal experience on this (approaching the neighbors):
I basically have 3 close neighbors with dogs that bark, some more than others.
   #1. We had an OK relationship for years until the dogs took over. I spoke with them nicely and thought everything was OK. I continued to speak to them for 6 months, then I started calling the cops. Cops do nothing except get in the way. I continue to call the neighbor up and also call the cops. Much better now= little barking to none+ I don't talk to neighbor #1. I didn't like them anyway.
   #2.  A lady owns a B&B(business). She got two used (rescued dogs), ankle bitters, that use to run loose and bark at everything. Called the cops at first and that was a waste of time. Started calling her at all times. That didn't work either. Had to threaten her with a suit. Sent her Junk mail on anti barking stuff. That didn't work. Got the good neighbors in the area to complain. That didn't work. Sent her flowers for Valentines day. That helped, but thats all. Today it's much better, occasional 1 to 2 minutes. Don't know what worked here. Waiting for the dogs to get lost or run over.
   #3 Neighbor. He recently got a used dog. (rescuded). His dog is really bad. Out of control.I can here it bark in the house. He never leaves it out. He wan't to train it. He is always with it. I immediately spoke to him and explained my problem. So far it has been good. I haven't called the cops on him yet.
Closure: I call the cops on anything that I think is wrong. I call the people and talk with them if I think that they are wrong. I am the neighborhood watch. So far no one has called the cops on me, maybe because I am right. My theory is: If they bother you then you must bother them, but worse."

Right on, Dave!

(Oh crap. Now I got this highlighter on and can't turn it off)

Hmmm...I really like Dave's philosophy. I am very weary from not only being forced to listen to the barking but from resenting my neighbors for forcing it upon me, and I feel myself losing steam...feeling hopeless...on the verge of giving up...I'm becoming resigned to the fact that I'll just go batty and/or die from a stress related disease... but! this has given me a boost and I'm going to follow in Dave's footsteps. Harley's humans better watch out.

Training the Neighbors (the human neighbors, that is)

I expect the police to come oozing up any day now, not in pursuit of my neighbors and their annoying dog, but rather after me. In addition to training Harley the Yapper not to bark at me, I'm attempting to train his Stupid Humans to get up off their fat asses and make him be quiet during other times of the day...especially early morning when I just do not want to bundle up and drag myself outside to deal with their barking irritant. During much of the year one hears birds chirping first thing, but for several years now I'm greeted first thing in the A.M. by a dog barking.

I'm doing this human training with my car alarm... My goal is to either get them to be responsible for their dog and thus become good neighbors...or just ruin their lives like they've done mine. This is a terrible attitude to have, usually I like to avoid childishness and confrontations, but I guess this comes from being driven batty.

A little detail here about my house and how it is situated in relation to the source of my unhappiness...I have a big, old 2 story house, with a long hallway down the middle of both levels and rooms off to each side of the hallways. Upstairs there are 4 bedrooms (2 on either side of the hallway), a bathroom and a small room off the back of one of the bedrooms that I used to call the Meditation Room... My bedroom of choice is the one in the back of the house, on Harley's side unfortunately, my favorite bedroom since I began living here 9-10 years ago...well, until Harley's arrival that is. The reason I chose this room is because I like the way the light streams in in the morning, it is connected to the bathroom, it is at back of the house so it does not get as much traffic noise as the bedrooms at the front of the house, and this side of the house used to be quieter than the other side. Downstairs we have 4 rooms (2 on either side of the hall), and in back there is the kitchen and the Cat Room, also know as a mud room, I think, but that's where the litter boxes and all the cat supplies are. We are planning on knocking part of a wall between this room and the kitchen to open it all up, making this room into a sort of breakfast nook area with French doors opening onto a screened in deck, but I've rather lost my zest for this idea since I won't be able to enjoy it as long as my neighbors continue to allow their dog to be an annoyance.

So, anyway, I've been sleeping in the living room for months now because it is the room farthest from Harley the Yapper, and it is downstairs so I can close all the doors into the rooms at the back of my house and on Harley's side of the house to block out more of the annoying yapping.

I've been living in the living room/dining room area, with the occasional trip to the kitchen, and bathroom...but only when absolutely necessary...and upstairs only to shower and dress. Nice, huh? Many thanks to my lovely neighbors for not only making me miserable by forcing me to hear their damn dog barking, but for also limiting the use of my big, lovely, 11 room plus 2 bathroom house to just 2 rooms! Love you too... heh heh heh... oh, and let's not forget the big 1 acre yard that I no longer care to labor over because I'm getting barked out of it like I'm an intruder... Weeds? Who gives a shit.

Well, Harley has been very quiet during the night (not sure why though) so last night I decided I'd had enough of this crap and decided to sleep in my favorite bedroom, in my favorite queen size bed for the first time in months. But knowning he always starts barking between 6 a.m. and 8 a.m. and knowing I would want to lounge around since it had been so long since I slept in my bed, I set my key fob on the night stand, and as soon as Harley started barking this morning I set off my car alarm, and kept setting it off at intervals until Harley was quiet. I'm not sure if my neighbors got off their asses to shut him up or if he just got tired of barking on his own...

I hope Harley's humans are not too stupid to figure out what is going on here. I mean, even Harley learned very quickly what the handheld ultrasonic device and a sharp "quiet" means. Hopefully I won't have to use the garden hose on his humans before they pay attention.

Resentments...One Day At A Time

Well, then, it's been about a week since I've written on this blog. The main reason, I guess, is because I haven't been so miserable and I do seem to do some of my best, most prolific writing only when I'm ready to jump off a cliff.

Let's see, what's been going on...the dogs behind me are still tied up...and alive if you can believe that after this below 20 degrees weather we've been having at night (remember they have scanty shelter at best)...the other night I was out for 10 minutes and felt like hypothermia was setting in...and the fellow next door is still barking, albeit not as much as he was during the spring, summer and  fall. It seems now the main thing that sets him off are the tied up dogs behind me so...I'm now trying to condition 3 dogs not to bark! Yea! I'm having so much fun "conditioning" other people's dogs. Maybe I should go into business! I mean, I could use a few extra bucks to help pay for the continuing, weekly chiropractic treatments & massage therapy for what now seems to be a permanent pain in my neck, thanks to my lovely, irresponsible dog owner neighbors. And no, my $5000 deductible health insurance doesn't cover it, thank you.

The dogs behind me not only bark at me when I go out back to feed Kitty (I've quite feeding my compost pile just so I don't have to get barked at more than necessary), but of course they are miserable, cold, and lonely and are barking for attention I'm sure, and maybe even food. Who knows. Poor things. I'm afraid to get too close to check out the situation because those freaks scare me back there (the humans, that is), and quite frankly that's the same reason I'm afraid to call the cops on them (again). Harley, the yapper next door, has been amazingly good, other than when the poor fellows behind me get him going. This of course happens a number of times during the day, and the yapper's people have yet to make an appearance to shut him up. Christ; someone could be murdering the poor fellow and his people would never know it...until dinner time. Yeah, at least they feed him regularly...

So of course, Yours Truly gets up, throws on jacket, scarf, gloves and hat (because I'm from somewhere else that is not this cold), grabs ultrasonic device and plods out back to put an end to the ruckus. I get the feeling that along with conditioning the dogs not to bark, I'm conditioning the humans to continue sitting on their asses. But I gotta tell ya, it's been a lot easier to train the Harley not to bark (he even comes running, tail wagging, when I call his name now), than it was to get his damn people to do something about it. Wait until spring when I hire some guys to help me in the yard and all the fidos freaks out... All hell will break loose then, and I'll get to release all my pent up frustrations! Yea, again.

So, while the barking is not currently driving me batty (or battier), here I am making friends with all the furry critters while I store up great resentments toward their humans on a daily basis. These resentments, of course, if you ask anybody in the program, could drive a gal to drink...or even to drugs...if they don't kill you by stress related illness first

If the barking doesn't kill me, the resentments, drink or drugs might, so either way I just feel like I'm screwed in Monroe. I had a rather different ending in mind for myself, but at 53 I'm still sort of young so, who knows? I still might be able to make an escape to the Mediterranean or a tropical island and die peacefully of old age rather than death by intoxication or insanity...if I win the lottery.