Legal Action...non sequitur

It's been a while since I've made any entries here but, trust me, Harley the dog has not been as remiss with his barking as I have been with my writing.

However, it's time I quite whining about the yapper and share my experiences and advice in dealing with a barking nuisance and shitty, rude neighbors.

Unfortunately, and this is very depressing, according to what I've read about other people's experiences, the chances seem to be slim to none that you'll get any satisfaction from the laws or the courts very quickly, and my own experience, to date, concurs with this. But anyway...in the event that you are either really lucky or you live in one of those evolved areas in which humans are top priority...

Find out what your local laws, codes and ordiances are pertaining to noise and animals, and keep a copy on hand to refer back to at a moments notice. Scrutinize them thoroughly because your neighbor might be in violation of more than just the barking section. If you can't find the ordinances on your local gov. web sites you can probably find them here: http://www.amlegal.com/library/ This is for the United States.

Call or visit the local magistrate/court, the Police, the Sheriff, the Animal Control...anyone and everyone so you can find out or confirm exactly what procedure needs to be followed to deal with these noise/animal nuisance violations. Keep at it until you are certain you know the correct process. I failed to do this. I was initially told one thing (by a magistrate and an animal control officer), which I put all my energy into preparing for, then when I went to the magistrate's office to file my complaint I was told I couldn't do this, and was then told the process was something entirely different. So after the weekend I'm going to start calling around to make sure I now know the correct process to follow so I don't waste more time.

In general, the following is what everyone, including Monroe and Union County residents should do in their quest for peace. And, by the way, don't wait until you have been driven completely batty by the barking and are in desperate need of relief. Many of us wait, hoping that the neighbors will suddenly become good citizens or that a large tree will fall on the barking dog, but it won't happen and the barking will continue unabated in many cases.

1. Start gathering evidence right away, in the event you end up in court.

• Written documentation, such as a Barking Log. My Barking Log has the date, the day, the time, the barking status (barking or quiet), and a column for other relavent notes (what the dog was barking at, where I was when the dog was barking, if the dog woke me up, whether the neighbors came out to quiet the dog or he just stopped on his own, when I had to leave home to get some peace, etc.), and I also have a column called Cat Location since my cats are often blamed but usually innocent. In some areas you might have to count the barks per minute, in which case you can go to barkingdogs.net where there is a form and instructions.
• I also keep a Call Log, mainly for my own reference, which includes the name of the person I spoke with, who they are (i.e., police, dog trainer, dog owner, etc.), their phone number, the date and time, and the purpose/results of the call;
• I'm also have an ongoing chart of how the barking has affected my health, physically and emotionally, which also includes when I've gone to the doctor, chiropractor, massage therapist seeking help for or relief from the symptoms caused by the barking;
• Another statement as to how the barking has forced me to modify my activities both inside and outside my house.
• Keep all receipts and record the financial impact of the barking (i.e., medical bills, barking deterrents such as the ultrasonic device I bought that didn't work, sound proofing material for your home, etc.);
• Video recordings with sound. I used my cell phone and digital camera so I have a lot of short clips and videos on different days, at various times, both inside the house and outside, but if possible purchase a security camera which you can mount in a stretegic spot on the outside of your home (preferably where the neighbors can't see it) to record the barking 24/7. Try to exclude any identifying landmarks, but do try to include the dog in the video so he can be seen as well as heard if there are no shrubs or fence to block the view. A wireless model would be perfect, and send the feed to your computer and back it up. This will also be helpful if you have to do the bark per minute thing, although you might have to take some xanax after having to listen to the same barking twice or thrice to get the count correct.

2.  I didn't do this, and I regret it, but rather than talk to the neighbors about it (like I did), send them the anonymous letter, via the post. Don't use threats, expletives, or other nastiness. Be nice and polite. There is a chance that the owner just doesn't know how much the dog is barking (hard to believe, I know, but apparently it does happen). Try to sound like more than one neighbor is being disturbed by the barking (if you are in fact the only one like I am). Explain the depth to which this barking occurs, the times, etc., and ask if some other arrangements can be made to make the dog happy so it doesn't bark so much. Keep a copy of this letter. There is a very slim chance that this will work but if you are really, really lucky, the barking will be dealt with (one way or anyother) and you won't have to go any further.

3.  If the letter doesn't work, call the law. It's always embarrassing to have the cops show up at your house so call the Police first. I recommend requesting to remain anonymous, if possible, and I also suggest calling the local nonemergency 911 number so the operator can hear the barking in the background, and ask them to dispatch a Police officer. If you are really lucky this one visit from the law will be enough to prompt your neighbor into quieting the dog, one way or another, or getting rid of it.

4.  If this first visit from the police has no impact, call the local animal control and ask them to make a visit. Continue to remain anonymous as long as possible, but you will, at this point, want to start having conversations with the law enforcment officers to make sure they are following the correct legal procedures (e.g., issuing citations, etc.). Have your copies of the ordinances/codes handy to refer to if necessary. When dealing with the law, always remain polite and courteous, even if you feel murderous. Don't use expletives, don't badmouth the neighbors or the dog...just state the barking facts...and you might even wish to express a bit of concern for the dog's neglect (even if you don't give a shit), because lot of people take animal neglect more seriously than they do the health and well being of the human who is being traumatized by the dog's barking, and barking is a sign of some sort of neglect.

If, by chance, your sly neighbor runs out to shut the dog up as soon as the Officers drive up and they don't hear the barking (this happened to me twice, and they have to hear the barking to be able to do anything about it), you'll have to call again but explain what happened and ask if they can park down the street and arrive on foot. In my case, I suggested to the Animal Control Officers that they park in the church parking lot that borders the back half of our backyard, and walked through our yard to our back door. They kindly did, and on their way through the yard they heard every shrill yip, piercing yap and mind splitting bark.

Unfortunately, at this time, even though my neighboring psycho barking nuisance has been heard, loud and clear, by both the police and 2 animal control officers, I'm still living in barking hell.

If nothing is done to your satisfaction you will either have to move or just go insane or...whatever... In some cases being very diligent has paid off. You can also begin work on changing the noise and animal laws. For this, since I have not gone this far yet, I recommend consulting the experts in the Barking Dogs Yahoo Group and BarkingDogs.net which is the most informative web site on the planet about barking dogs.
Good luck, and I hope you can get some peace and quiet before you become as batty as I have.