Plan of Action

The following is a post written today by Dave Black, on the Barking Dogs Yahoo Group under the original post entitled "Things That Work and Don't Work." Under this original posting there is a continuing debate over what works and doesn't work to shut the damn dog(s) up (duh), and whether one should begin by approaching the dog's human or not.

Dave says,

"Hello, My personal experience on this (approaching the neighbors):
I basically have 3 close neighbors with dogs that bark, some more than others.
   #1. We had an OK relationship for years until the dogs took over. I spoke with them nicely and thought everything was OK. I continued to speak to them for 6 months, then I started calling the cops. Cops do nothing except get in the way. I continue to call the neighbor up and also call the cops. Much better now= little barking to none+ I don't talk to neighbor #1. I didn't like them anyway.
   #2.  A lady owns a B&B(business). She got two used (rescued dogs), ankle bitters, that use to run loose and bark at everything. Called the cops at first and that was a waste of time. Started calling her at all times. That didn't work either. Had to threaten her with a suit. Sent her Junk mail on anti barking stuff. That didn't work. Got the good neighbors in the area to complain. That didn't work. Sent her flowers for Valentines day. That helped, but thats all. Today it's much better, occasional 1 to 2 minutes. Don't know what worked here. Waiting for the dogs to get lost or run over.
   #3 Neighbor. He recently got a used dog. (rescuded). His dog is really bad. Out of control.I can here it bark in the house. He never leaves it out. He wan't to train it. He is always with it. I immediately spoke to him and explained my problem. So far it has been good. I haven't called the cops on him yet.
Closure: I call the cops on anything that I think is wrong. I call the people and talk with them if I think that they are wrong. I am the neighborhood watch. So far no one has called the cops on me, maybe because I am right. My theory is: If they bother you then you must bother them, but worse."

Right on, Dave!

(Oh crap. Now I got this highlighter on and can't turn it off)

Hmmm...I really like Dave's philosophy. I am very weary from not only being forced to listen to the barking but from resenting my neighbors for forcing it upon me, and I feel myself losing steam...feeling hopeless...on the verge of giving up...I'm becoming resigned to the fact that I'll just go batty and/or die from a stress related disease... but! this has given me a boost and I'm going to follow in Dave's footsteps. Harley's humans better watch out.

Training the Neighbors (the human neighbors, that is)

I expect the police to come oozing up any day now, not in pursuit of my neighbors and their annoying dog, but rather after me. In addition to training Harley the Yapper not to bark at me, I'm attempting to train his Stupid Humans to get up off their fat asses and make him be quiet during other times of the day...especially early morning when I just do not want to bundle up and drag myself outside to deal with their barking irritant. During much of the year one hears birds chirping first thing, but for several years now I'm greeted first thing in the A.M. by a dog barking.

I'm doing this human training with my car alarm... My goal is to either get them to be responsible for their dog and thus become good neighbors...or just ruin their lives like they've done mine. This is a terrible attitude to have, usually I like to avoid childishness and confrontations, but I guess this comes from being driven batty.

A little detail here about my house and how it is situated in relation to the source of my unhappiness...I have a big, old 2 story house, with a long hallway down the middle of both levels and rooms off to each side of the hallways. Upstairs there are 4 bedrooms (2 on either side of the hallway), a bathroom and a small room off the back of one of the bedrooms that I used to call the Meditation Room... My bedroom of choice is the one in the back of the house, on Harley's side unfortunately, my favorite bedroom since I began living here 9-10 years ago...well, until Harley's arrival that is. The reason I chose this room is because I like the way the light streams in in the morning, it is connected to the bathroom, it is at back of the house so it does not get as much traffic noise as the bedrooms at the front of the house, and this side of the house used to be quieter than the other side. Downstairs we have 4 rooms (2 on either side of the hall), and in back there is the kitchen and the Cat Room, also know as a mud room, I think, but that's where the litter boxes and all the cat supplies are. We are planning on knocking part of a wall between this room and the kitchen to open it all up, making this room into a sort of breakfast nook area with French doors opening onto a screened in deck, but I've rather lost my zest for this idea since I won't be able to enjoy it as long as my neighbors continue to allow their dog to be an annoyance.

So, anyway, I've been sleeping in the living room for months now because it is the room farthest from Harley the Yapper, and it is downstairs so I can close all the doors into the rooms at the back of my house and on Harley's side of the house to block out more of the annoying yapping.

I've been living in the living room/dining room area, with the occasional trip to the kitchen, and bathroom...but only when absolutely necessary...and upstairs only to shower and dress. Nice, huh? Many thanks to my lovely neighbors for not only making me miserable by forcing me to hear their damn dog barking, but for also limiting the use of my big, lovely, 11 room plus 2 bathroom house to just 2 rooms! Love you too... heh heh heh... oh, and let's not forget the big 1 acre yard that I no longer care to labor over because I'm getting barked out of it like I'm an intruder... Weeds? Who gives a shit.

Well, Harley has been very quiet during the night (not sure why though) so last night I decided I'd had enough of this crap and decided to sleep in my favorite bedroom, in my favorite queen size bed for the first time in months. But knowning he always starts barking between 6 a.m. and 8 a.m. and knowing I would want to lounge around since it had been so long since I slept in my bed, I set my key fob on the night stand, and as soon as Harley started barking this morning I set off my car alarm, and kept setting it off at intervals until Harley was quiet. I'm not sure if my neighbors got off their asses to shut him up or if he just got tired of barking on his own...

I hope Harley's humans are not too stupid to figure out what is going on here. I mean, even Harley learned very quickly what the handheld ultrasonic device and a sharp "quiet" means. Hopefully I won't have to use the garden hose on his humans before they pay attention.

Resentments...One Day At A Time

Well, then, it's been about a week since I've written on this blog. The main reason, I guess, is because I haven't been so miserable and I do seem to do some of my best, most prolific writing only when I'm ready to jump off a cliff.

Let's see, what's been going on...the dogs behind me are still tied up...and alive if you can believe that after this below 20 degrees weather we've been having at night (remember they have scanty shelter at best)...the other night I was out for 10 minutes and felt like hypothermia was setting in...and the fellow next door is still barking, albeit not as much as he was during the spring, summer and  fall. It seems now the main thing that sets him off are the tied up dogs behind me so...I'm now trying to condition 3 dogs not to bark! Yea! I'm having so much fun "conditioning" other people's dogs. Maybe I should go into business! I mean, I could use a few extra bucks to help pay for the continuing, weekly chiropractic treatments & massage therapy for what now seems to be a permanent pain in my neck, thanks to my lovely, irresponsible dog owner neighbors. And no, my $5000 deductible health insurance doesn't cover it, thank you.

The dogs behind me not only bark at me when I go out back to feed Kitty (I've quite feeding my compost pile just so I don't have to get barked at more than necessary), but of course they are miserable, cold, and lonely and are barking for attention I'm sure, and maybe even food. Who knows. Poor things. I'm afraid to get too close to check out the situation because those freaks scare me back there (the humans, that is), and quite frankly that's the same reason I'm afraid to call the cops on them (again). Harley, the yapper next door, has been amazingly good, other than when the poor fellows behind me get him going. This of course happens a number of times during the day, and the yapper's people have yet to make an appearance to shut him up. Christ; someone could be murdering the poor fellow and his people would never know it...until dinner time. Yeah, at least they feed him regularly...

So of course, Yours Truly gets up, throws on jacket, scarf, gloves and hat (because I'm from somewhere else that is not this cold), grabs ultrasonic device and plods out back to put an end to the ruckus. I get the feeling that along with conditioning the dogs not to bark, I'm conditioning the humans to continue sitting on their asses. But I gotta tell ya, it's been a lot easier to train the Harley not to bark (he even comes running, tail wagging, when I call his name now), than it was to get his damn people to do something about it. Wait until spring when I hire some guys to help me in the yard and all the fidos freaks out... All hell will break loose then, and I'll get to release all my pent up frustrations! Yea, again.

So, while the barking is not currently driving me batty (or battier), here I am making friends with all the furry critters while I store up great resentments toward their humans on a daily basis. These resentments, of course, if you ask anybody in the program, could drive a gal to drink...or even to drugs...if they don't kill you by stress related illness first

If the barking doesn't kill me, the resentments, drink or drugs might, so either way I just feel like I'm screwed in Monroe. I had a rather different ending in mind for myself, but at 53 I'm still sort of young so, who knows? I still might be able to make an escape to the Mediterranean or a tropical island and die peacefully of old age rather than death by intoxication or insanity...if I win the lottery.

Inhumane Is as Inhumane Does...

I wrote to the Metrolina Dog Reporter in Indian Trail, thinking she might have some suggestion. Here's what she said (my comments are in pink, if you couldn't guess...),

Dear Ms. X (No, not telling you my name),

"Assuming you have tried to make friends with the dog next door, Yes, and I used to be friends with my neighbors, too. it sounds like you have been extremely patient with a dog that has not been properly socialized. Really. It could also be that the dog senses your feelings of frustration and is misinterpreting that as a threat. Yeah, that's why he starts jumping around and wagging his tail when I approach the fence. The dog can't tell me, his neighbor who used to give him treats, play with him, and pet his head over the fence, from an intruder, so I doubt he can distinguish much else. He treats me the same way he did before I became hostile.


"Your e-mail does not mention anything about calling the police or the sheriff's department to help you handle this situation only animal control. Yes, I've called the police and they sent out the animal control guy. In Union County, Animal Control is, as you may know, under the jurisdiction of the Sheriff's Dept. so if I call Eddy guess who they will send out. So whether I call the police, the sheriff's dept., or animal control the only person I'll see is an animal control officer, and probably the same one that always shows up. And when the animal control guy came out a few weeks ago, all the neighbors came out into the yard so the dog wasn't barking. There are nuisance ordinances that cover barking dogs. A visit from a city policeman or deputy sheriff is sometimes necessary when it comes to such inconsiderate neighbors as you describe. Yes, we do have animal control (nuisance) ordinances, which date back to the days when animal control was under the jurisdiction of the health dept. (until 5-6 years ago), but it does no go to have the ordinances if they aren't enforced, which they aren't around here, at least not in my experience. And by they way, they do kill animals in a gas chamber in Union County, so this will be the likely outcome for any animals confiscated by animal control. Isn't Indian Trail in Union County? Last time I checked, it was.

"Keeping a small squirt bottle filled with water handy will be easier than dragging around a garden hose or you may want to try buying a small can of Direct Stop at Petsmart. Direct Stop is a cintronella spray that dogs find very offensive but it will not harm their eyes. And people have insinuated that I'm mean for using the ultrasonic device. Somehow I find it hard to believe that citronella is kinder. It makes my eyes and skin burn when I use it on just my skin as an insect repellant. So try squirting the dog in the face and telling it "NO" with either water or Direct Stop whenever it barks at you and this may help curb the its behavior. Right. Well, she does have a somewhat simple grasp on the classical conditioning concept, or she's just putting it in simple terms because she thinks I'm an idiot. Anyway, I did this thing with the squirt bottle, way back, and the dog just laughed at the squirt, then went on his merry barking way... "hahaha...rahrahrahrahrahrah..." 


"I did this with my own dogs when they kept barking at my neighbor's new cat. I also squirted the cat because it was coming right up to our fence and taunting my dogs. Yeah, my neighbor's tried to blame my cat, too. Not sure what the excuse was when the cat wasn't around. My cat used to "hunt" in the shrubs near the fence, but he can't stand the barking either so he doesn't go over there any more. But the dog still barks...whether the cat is outside or not. My two dogs and the neighbor's cat eventually learned to change their behavior because they did not like getting squirted in the face with water every day. Refer to the above. Hence the more effective hose which got his attention after 3-4 uses. I understand that training the neighbor's dog is not your responsibility but a month of your time conditioning the dog to stop its obnoxious behavior is better than putting up with four more years of aggravation. A month of my time??? I have been working on trying to "condition" this dog not to bark at least at me since they got it as a puppy, and then I realized one day that when the neighbors are in the yard and the dog starts barking they give him treats and attention to distract him, which, as anyone with any insight into classical conditioning knows, is just reinforcing the undesired behavior and therefore counterproductive to anything I do. I was willing to pay for dog training, but the 3 trainers I consulted with told me the same thing - waste of money...training won't work if the owners don't participate and reinforce the training (duh). Let's see, I've been outside at least 8 times today to quiet the dog. Actually, I just came in and he's out there barking again. I actually set off my car alarm once hoping to attract his people's attention because I was tired of getting up to shut their dog up. I thought perhaps I could "condition" the humans to get up and tend to the barking when they hear "Pavlov's bell ringing"...but I supposed if I let it (the car alarm) go on too long they'll call the cops and the cops will rush right out to put an end to the noise nuisance...even though it hasn't been going on anywhere near 4 years. Go figure. (At this point, you probably want to squirt your neighbors in the face, too, but I do NOT recommend it). Really. I said I was going crazy, not stupid.


Good Luck!
Deborah Parkhill Mullis

Gee. Thanks Deborah...so much for the Metrolina Dog Reporter. I think Deborah needs to go back to school...or maybe she has never lived next to a barking dog and thus does not realize the damage it can do to one's life both emotionally and physically.  


Well, then...anyone else want to insult my intelligence?


P.S. I was making some progress with the ultrasonic handheld device along with rewards when the dog sat quietly watching me while I was in the yard. But I've also had to run outside early in the morning in my pajamas to make the dog stop barking, sometimes 3-4 times before he stops, and no sign of his people (yes, they are home), and the dog wakes me up barking in the middle of the night so I've had to move my bedroom, first across the hall upstairs, and now I'm sleeping in the living room, the room farthest away...but he still wakes me up.


I've had a couple "dog people" scoff because I'm using the ultrasonic device. I guess they think it's inhumane... however I find it to be very inhumane and abusive to drive a human crazy and to disrupt one's whole life by allowing this barking to continue. and no one seems to care about the people, just the dog...except for other people who have been driven mad by barking dogs and insensitive, rude neighbors.

Off Topic but Dog Relevant

Correction to the info in this blog entry: as of today there are now 3 dogs tied up back there, and one is a small puppy. Or maybe that poor puppy has been there the whole time. Who knows any more.

I admit this is not my most eloquent blog entry; this entry is more just a rant without much style. Not to get off the topic of Harley the yapper here, but back to those 2 poor dogs that were recently tied up in the yard by my neighbors behind me because this crap is driving me crazy...living surrounded by so much animal neglect that  no one else around here seems to be bothered by.

I walked out back the other day when it was pouring down rain, Christmas Day I think it was, with the sole purpose of checking them out, and both of those dogs were sitting in the rain next to the feeble "shelters" those freaks provided for them. I don't think those dogs have even 5 feet of chain or rope or whatever is keeping them in bondage. It's almost as sad as being driven batty by a barking yapper...well, actually sadder because the dogs are powerless to do anything about their situation.

Now this is in the far back corner of their yard, right in front of the spot where the creeps cut away the branches of the shrubs that divide our properties so I have a birds eye view of this horror when I walk out behind my garage. I know, I know, why walk out of my way to see the poor things? Well, it is my yard so it's not really out of my way, and as the Homo sapien with the evolved brain (or a good Christian if that was the case), either way I do have a moral responsibility to be humane to animals, to recognize negligence and other abuses, and to try to rescue animals that are being abused by low-lifes whose brains haven't kept up with evolution but who, none-the-less, possess the appearance of the species Homo sapien.

I was really tempted to call the cops, but what are they going to do? Call the animal control, who might confiscate the dogs and then euthanize them in the gas chamber along with 100s of other dogs and cats? Well, animal control probably wouldn't do that since they won't even collect a dog that is running loose scaring people or almost causing auto accidents by running to and fro across Concord Ave., but I, on the other hand, would probably just be put on the list of complainers and get blown off...again. Odd how it is that the authorities would ignore the concerned citizen or treat them like they are the bad guy, and then also ignore the animal abusers and allow them to continue on their merry way even though they are actually breaking the law (see the Union County Animal Control Ordinance page 93, #2 about proper shelter and protection from the weather elements). What are my tax dollars paying them for, anyway?  And why do we even have the animal ordinances if my tax dollars aren't enforcing them? And, I can honestly add that the ordinances are rather out dated since the animal control now falls under the jurisdiction of the Sherrif's Department rather than the Health Department, as it formerly was when these ordinances came into effect, so why are my tax dollars also paying the lawmakers if they are not keeping the laws that the law enforcers aren't enforcing up to date???

But back to the 2 tied up dogs. Like I said, this happened before back there with the puppy that had no water in mid summer, and I only foresee terrible things for these 2 unfortunate canines and I just hope they don't break loose one day and bite someone or kill a pet, especially like me or one of my cats since we are closest. Normally when I go out back to feed Kitty those dogs start barking at me (thus also getting Harley the yapper going) but that day the dogs didn't even look up when I walked back there making noise, they didn't look up when I whistled, and they barely looked up when I raised my voice and started calling out for Kitty...the semi-feral homeless cat that I had neutered, vaccinated for rabies and distemper, and feed every day who has taken shelter in the shed at the side of my garage. If Kitty could talk he'd probably say that even though he had the crap scared out of him when he was trapped and then had his balls cut off it's OK because at least someone cares about him.

What Works, and What Doesn't Work

Right before I was about to go completely over the edge because of 4 years of living next door to a yapping nuisance, I joined a yahoo group called Barking Dogs. While perusing all the posts I've seen a lot of suggestion involving making videos with sound, filing lawsuits, hiring an attorney to write a letter to the dog's humans... some of that can be really expensive and then, along with the continued barking you have the added stress of the cost and being in the middle of a litigation war. Shock collars have also been suggested, but upon researching them I think they are a bad idea: someone has to change the batteries, someone has to make sure the dog isn't suffering from shock abuse, and to use a shock collar responsibly someone has to work in conjunction with the device to train the dog, or it is just plain old animal cruelty. Why would I care about that when the little F-er has practically ruined my whole life? Because it's not his fault: he could have been a good pet and a cute doggie neighbor if his humans had a clue and had been responsible dog owners in the first place. The humans have to actually have one of those evolved brains that supposedly come with the opposing thumb.

But enough of disparaging the pea-brain humans. I'll tell you what seems to be working for me, although I think I'm pretty lucky because I know this hasn't worked for a lot of people. After deciding to take things into my own hands (after going completely batty but before I totally went over the edge into the deep end), I've had pretty good success with a sharp "quiet" command, the garden hose, and a handheld ultrasonic device, and then when the little nuisance stands there at the fence watching me without barking I go pet his stinky head to reward him. It only took 3-4 sprays over a 2 day period with really cold water from the hose on a very cold day, now I just use the ultrasonic and the command. We're still working on when he sees the cat, but he's doing pretty good. One of these days I might even give the annoying fellow a freeze dried turkey heart in lieu of or in addition to the pet on the head.

In fact, he's doing so well I'm wondering if one of my neighbors has been working with the yapper (since my 2 hysterical calls in the middle of the night and one call to animal control), although I find that hard to believe since they seemed so clueless for 4 years. I don't know for sure what they are doing (if anything) because my neighbors no longer talk to me after my late night calls and call to AC, which is ironic because I used to still talk to them even though they were letting their damn dog drive everybody crazy. If I'd known it was going to be this easy I'd have alienated them a long time ago.

But this also means I've had to attempt to train someone else's dog which is also sort of ironic because the reason I don't have a dog is because I don't want to have to take the time to train it, walk it, scoop crap, and all the other things that come with being a responsible dog owner...and good neighbor...

What didn't work, although he didn't like it, was spraying him with vinegar water, which was suggested to me by a dog rescue person of all things (no wonder many of them are batty).*

Nor did diplomacy and offering to pay for training the dog work, which was my husband's method and idea...

* The same dog rescue person who suggested the useless vinegar & water method, later suggested the ultrasonic birdhouse thingie, which led me to the handheld ultrasonic device because it was cheaper and I wanted to see if it would have any effect before I sprang for the more costly birdhouse device. I mean, I'm still paying out the ass for chiropractic treatments and massage to relieve the pain in my neck that finally became unbearable this last summer (and especially so when the dog goes into a barking tirade), and for the doctor visits to get the xanax prescription to ease the anxiety attacks I still experience when I think about going outside.

The Decline of my Yard

Usually, during the spring and summer I work in the yard quite a lot. I plant annual flowers and herbs in the ground, tend the bulbs, trim the shrubs, get rid of weeds, mulch, this, that,... it's a big yard and takes a lot of attention to keep it looking nice.

However, the last few years have seen the decline of my garden -  few annuals and a lot of weeds - thanks to my neighbors. I say "my neighbors" because they are the ones who were so neglectful in the training of their dog, and thus turned him into a barking nuisance. Not the dog's fault. It would be one thing if he barked when strangers showed up, or just barked a little here and there, but his constant yakking at me, his neighbor, from the time I step out to the time I step back in made it impossible for me to stay in the yard for more than a few minutes, especially this last year when he was exiled from the house in the early spring.

An then in the fall when my husband was home we enlisted the help of a couple of guys looking for work to spread a few loads of mulch around - something I usually do - and the dog barked constantly the whole time they were out there. Even though I was in the house, refusing to go out and be barked at, it still drove me over the edge.

But after I realized I was losing my physical & mental health because of this barking, and thus became hysterical, I also realized that I was the one who was going to have to jump into action if I did not want this fellow to send me completely off the deep end.

He's actually a smart little fellow. Since I enlisted the help of the hose and the handheld ultrasonic device he's learned pretty quickly not to bark at me when I go into the yard. He still gets excited and forgets himself so I just remind him with the ultrasonic, and he's still having trouble when the cat appears, but we're working on that. I only used the hose 3-4 times, now it's just the ultrasonic, and I've also made sure to reward him with scratches on the head when he watches me quietly.

I have hopes for having a nice yard again next year, but I'm afraid the damage has been done as far as my relationship with my neighbors, who I used to consider good neighbors until they proved otherwise by allowing their dog to carry on until I flipped out and I'm loathe to say that it will take a long time for me to forgive them for that. In fact, they'll have to beg or give me a million dollars. Maybe both.