Letter to My Barking Dog Neighbors...

Rather than go through the nightmare of having to listen further to that damn shrill fellow and taking the chance that it will again escalate into a traumatic affair, and of having to keep calling the police and animal control again, I've decided to send the following letter, or similar, to my neighbors:

Dear Mr. & Mrs. Barking Dog Owner, (of course I'll use their real names in the letter...)

During the 7 months following the 2nd time you were summoned to court for violating the animal noise ordinance, I rarely heard any barking from your dogs, and things had been very acceptable. I was finally able to begin getting proper sleep and also spend more time in my yard, not to mention just enjoy being at home again. If this had been my experience with your dogs from the beginning, we would never have had a problem.

However, over the last few weeks you have been allowing [The Loud One] to remain in the yard barking for extended periods, and I have been disturbed and annoyed to the point of having to call the police on November 9, 2011 at approximately 3:30 a.m., after having been awakened at approximately 2:00 a.m. and then having to endure his barking for the next 1 1/2 hours, until the police arrived at which time you quickly called the dogs in, but not soon enough because the officer had heard the barking before he pulled into the driveway. I also have several video/sound recordings, that I made from inside of my house, of [The Loud One] barking during the 1 1/2 hours before I called the police.

You have 2 choices here:

1. You can refrain from allowing your dogs to bark during the day, and keep them inside at night like the judge ordered at the last court hearing, or
2. You can let them bark at whatever time of the day or night you wish and I'll make sure you receive another citation for violating the animal noise ordinance (see attached) at which time I will tell the Court that you have not abided by the Judge's order to keep your dogs inside at night (and I have video/sound recording and witness statements to this effect). As a courtesy, I'll remind you that at the last court hearing the judge said he would consider taking the dogs away if a 3rd citation was issued for this same violation.

In addition to another citation, if you choose to keep letting your dogs annoy me so severely, I have the option of filing a Private Nuisance lawsuit against you at which time I could be awarded a monetary compensation, which you would have to pay, for the damages you have inflicted on me over the last few years. I have consulted with several advisers about this lawsuit, and with all of the video/sound recordings I have, the written logs I've kept, the witness statements from other neighbors, visitor and the police and animal control officers, my medical records and bills directly related to the problems I've suffered from being deprived of sleep, from the stress of having to continually listen to this horrendous noise in my house, and from not being able to use and enjoy my yard because of this noise...and the fact that you have twice admitted guilt to the courts, the financial damages to you could be considerable.

In addition to your negligence in this matter, I have several witnesses who will testify as to your malicious behavior, in other words that, after I asked you to stop the barking and then involved the law, you spitefully proceeded to make your dogs to bark at your command in order to annoy me further (harrassment).

Further more, if any of my cats disappear, are harmed, or die of anything other than natural causes, I will immediately bring a Private Nuisance lawsuit against you.

If these were my dogs I never would have allowed this to happen but since I have no control over your dogs, the choice is yours as it always has been. You decide which way you want this to go.

Sincerely,
Barking Mad in NC

(attachment)
City of Monroe Code of Ordinances
Title IX: General Regulations
Chapter 92: Noise Control

§ 92.07 ANIMALS. It shall be unlawful for any person to own, keep or have in his possession, or harbor, any dog, other animal or bird(s) which, by frequent or habitually howling, yelping, barking, or otherwise cause loud noises, and produce seriously annoying disturbance to any person or to the neighborhood.

What Works, and What Doesn't Work

Right before I was about to go completely over the edge because of 4 years of living next door to a yapping nuisance, I joined a yahoo group called Barking Dogs. While perusing all the posts I've seen a lot of suggestion involving making videos with sound, filing lawsuits, hiring an attorney to write a letter to the dog's humans... some of that can be really expensive and then, along with the continued barking you have the added stress of the cost and being in the middle of a litigation war. Shock collars have also been suggested, but upon researching them I think they are a bad idea: someone has to change the batteries, someone has to make sure the dog isn't suffering from shock abuse, and to use a shock collar responsibly someone has to work in conjunction with the device to train the dog, or it is just plain old animal cruelty. Why would I care about that when the little F-er has practically ruined my whole life? Because it's not his fault: he could have been a good pet and a cute doggie neighbor if his humans had a clue and had been responsible dog owners in the first place. The humans have to actually have one of those evolved brains that supposedly come with the opposing thumb.

But enough of disparaging the pea-brain humans. I'll tell you what seems to be working for me, although I think I'm pretty lucky because I know this hasn't worked for a lot of people. After deciding to take things into my own hands (after going completely batty but before I totally went over the edge into the deep end), I've had pretty good success with a sharp "quiet" command, the garden hose, and a handheld ultrasonic device, and then when the little nuisance stands there at the fence watching me without barking I go pet his stinky head to reward him. It only took 3-4 sprays over a 2 day period with really cold water from the hose on a very cold day, now I just use the ultrasonic and the command. We're still working on when he sees the cat, but he's doing pretty good. One of these days I might even give the annoying fellow a freeze dried turkey heart in lieu of or in addition to the pet on the head.

In fact, he's doing so well I'm wondering if one of my neighbors has been working with the yapper (since my 2 hysterical calls in the middle of the night and one call to animal control), although I find that hard to believe since they seemed so clueless for 4 years. I don't know for sure what they are doing (if anything) because my neighbors no longer talk to me after my late night calls and call to AC, which is ironic because I used to still talk to them even though they were letting their damn dog drive everybody crazy. If I'd known it was going to be this easy I'd have alienated them a long time ago.

But this also means I've had to attempt to train someone else's dog which is also sort of ironic because the reason I don't have a dog is because I don't want to have to take the time to train it, walk it, scoop crap, and all the other things that come with being a responsible dog owner...and good neighbor...

What didn't work, although he didn't like it, was spraying him with vinegar water, which was suggested to me by a dog rescue person of all things (no wonder many of them are batty).*

Nor did diplomacy and offering to pay for training the dog work, which was my husband's method and idea...

* The same dog rescue person who suggested the useless vinegar & water method, later suggested the ultrasonic birdhouse thingie, which led me to the handheld ultrasonic device because it was cheaper and I wanted to see if it would have any effect before I sprang for the more costly birdhouse device. I mean, I'm still paying out the ass for chiropractic treatments and massage to relieve the pain in my neck that finally became unbearable this last summer (and especially so when the dog goes into a barking tirade), and for the doctor visits to get the xanax prescription to ease the anxiety attacks I still experience when I think about going outside.